Hey there,

I’ve been thinking a lot about control. Because, let’s be honest—it’s something my therapist would say I struggle with.

More specifically, I’ve been thinking about how little control we actually have over how others perceive us.

Since I started my business in 2020, I’ve meticulously crafted my brand and image. People know me as the brand gal, the one who’s ~killing it~ on LinkedIn, and the one who maintains the image of a total badass with a soft spot for dogs. ¹ This meticulousness was because I thought I could shape how people saw me.

I was wrong.

We can pour time, money, and effort into shaping our brand, but at the end of the day, we don’t control the narrative—our audience does. To some, I’m the green-haired branding expert. To others, I’m just a loud, unprofessional girl with green hair shouting into the void.

But that doesn’t mean branding and brand strategy is pointless—far from it. While we can’t dictate what people think, we can influence it. Strategy gives us the structure to guide perception, ensuring the right people see us the way we want to be seen. It helps us attract the ones who get it and ignore the ones who never will.

That’s what I’m diving into in today’s issue of Brand Burnout. Plus, for paid subscribers, I’m sharing the best investments I’ve made in outsourcing—because letting go is easier when you know where to start.

The Control Paradox

In the early days of running my business, control was a necessity.

Leaving your well-paying corporate job in (what you think is) the middle of a pandemic to become a freelance brand strategist isn’t the most lucrative career move. And while I was navigating all the ups, downs, lefts, and rights of business ownership, I had to do everything myself. Content creation, sales, contracts, bookkeeping—you name it, I did it. Not because I wanted to but because I didn’t have another option.

You’d think that as my revenue grew, my grip on control would loosen. Instead, it tightened. The fear of letting go, of trusting someone else with my brand, had me in a chokehold. And sometimes, if I’m honest, it still does.

What I wish I knew: My brand exists whether I shape it or not. I can influence it, but how I’m perceived is out of my control.

When people see my work, read my emails, or meet me at an event, they decide what I—and my work—mean to them. The more I try to control that perception, the less room there is for real connection.

Why Do We Crave Control?

I’m sure there’s a psychological study on why we try to control everything, including how others perceive us.

But here’s my hunch.

Love it or hate it, I believe your brand is an extension of you. It’s not just your business, it’s our way of life and a representation of who you are, your values, and your legacy.² Control makes all of the unpredictable parts of running a business feel a little less scary. If we can simply control every detail of our image, we thus control how others perceive us, allowing us to avoid uncertainty. So, we over-engineer everything to ensure a specific outcome.

But, boy, do I have bad news for you.

The world will always be full of uncertainty. And no matter how tightly you hold on, something will always be out of your control. And the more we try to control, the less room there is for authenticity, creativity, and connection.

What Happens When We Let Go?

Being a strategist means structuring chaos and connecting the dots that other people don’t necessarily see. I’ve done this for over a decade, and my biggest learning is that the best strategies aren’t rigid. They’re adaptable and give space for flexibility.

They’re designed to help us let go.

And when we let go of the need to control every detail of our brand, it’s not that we’re giving up; It’s that we’re opening new doors.

Here’s how letting go of the precious details of my own strategy has added value to my work:

Empowering clients through knowledge

Where I used to want to make myself indispensable forever (call it corporate trauma), I’ve realized I’d rather create a practice that prioritizes sustainability and produces long-term results.

And while it’s flattering that some of my clients expect me to hold their hand through each decision, it’s not sustainable for either of us. Over the years, I’ve shifted from being a strategist to being a mentor. This shift has helped me pass on my knowledge in a way that empowers my clients to build and grow their brands independently.

Authenticity fuels consistency

Perfection has never been my style. Not to say I don’t have a high standard for myself, but I’ve always been great at just doing the damn thing (maybe because I saw a lot of Nike commercials as a kid).

Embracing the messy, evolving nature of brand building is a game-changer. When I don’t try to control how others perceive me, I can build real connections with my audience.

I also recognize that privilege makes it safer for me to show up as I am. As a cishet white woman, I don’t face the same risks or biases others do when being “real” in public spaces.

But what I’ve learned is that authenticity isn’t just about being comfortable with myself; it’s about creating space for others to show up as they are, too. And that’s where the brand magic happens!

Unexpected connections

Brand strategy provides a framework, but you decide how to move within it. My strategies are always audience-first, and I would do anything for my audience. However, I’ve had to embrace the fact that people outside my "ideal client" mold are going to find me (and maybe love me), even if they don’t need my services. 

Because I’m not so hung up on controlling who’s seeing my work and resonating with my content, I’ve been able to build an incredible network of collaborators, partners, and cheerleaders.

Letting go of control hasn’t made me less of a strategist, but it’s made me a better one. It’s helped me take more risks, be creative, and make space for possibilities that weren’t even on my radar. This growth doesn’t come from holding on tighter—it comes from knowing when to let go.

Best Investments I’ve Made to Let Go of Control

This week, for paid subscribers, I’m sharing the best investments I’ve made when it comes to outsourcing (and how much they cost). These are the things that helped me step back and build a thriving brand and business without me micromanaging every detail.

Subscribe to Brand Burnout to read the rest.